HOPE!

I realize that the issues of molestation, rape and abortion are difficult ones.  It was not my idea to write about, speak about and help girls and women deal with these painful issues!!  It was completely God's idea and as a child of God, I try to always obey His words.  I have been through very difficult, painful experiences in my own life.  I found myself pregnant at the age of 14, because I could not say "No" to myself and chose to have sex.  I put my boyfriend's feelings before my own.  I did not want to disappoint him and I had a FEAR that he would leave me if I did not have sex with him.  We were both very young and did not even understand true love in a mature way.  I chose to have an abortion even though in my heart I really didn't want it, but I didn't want to say "No" to myself again and make myself carry the baby to term!  I was determined that abortion would make my problem go away.  It sure did make my baby go away.  But, ultimately I traded my unborn baby for pain, loss, guilt, shame, condemnation!!!  I hated myself for years for what I chose to do.  I was so angry with God and the world.  I did not want to go back to church and I just lashed out at anyone that I could.  Hurting people hurt others!  You can relate if you have ever seen a hurt animal on the side of the road that has been hit by a car, it runs off to hide from the world and if you go and try to touch it to help it, it will bite you!!  People can reach out to help you from your hurts and wounds, but you will scare them away or push them away.  You do not want to talk about "that".  I know, I have been there.  The good news and HOPE is that you should not and do not need to stay hurting, alone, suffering until you die.  God died on the cross for this reason!  He took the pain and shame so you don't have to.  Please think about this and ask God for yourself if He wants to heal you!  If you are still unsure, I can confirm as well as many others who will comment to this post.  He does want to heal you!  He has a HOPE and a FUTURE for you.  Please read Jeremiah 29:11.
Praying for you!!!
Michelle Durand

Deep, Dark, Shameful Secrets...need to be LET OUT!

MOLEST

1. to bother, interfere with, or annoy.

2.to make indecent sexual advances to.

3.to assault sexually.

MOLESTATION

1. harass, harry, trouble, plague, hector, torment.

To many who read these words, their definition is PAIN and USED.

I have been amazed for over ten (10) years how many young girls and boys have been molested. I have been placed in a position in my life which affords me the opportunity for young and older women to share their deepest, darkest, hidden, shameful, painful secrets. The first that I will address is molestation. The second will be rape. The third will be abortion. They are very commonly linked together in many ways. However, because of the emotional trauma and pain, we are not able to untangle our emotions long enough to realize the root or core problem. It reminds me of a fragile necklace that is in one round ball. I lose patience in trying to untangle the mess and knot. As children and even adults, we lose control of our emotions if we try to sit and remember the incident that led us to this mess in our lives. We feel like if we cry...we may never stop. We can't cry because we were told that we "better stop that crying" or else. We don't want to "go back and relive those moments" because of fear of pain again. So, we keep stuffing and pushing aside our TRUE inmost feelings. We definitely do NOT trust anyone. Most of the time, the molester was someone whom we should have been able to trust. I have heard and read countless different circumstances and situations. However, the common ground and fact here is that molestation is REAL and it HURTS forever UNTIL we find out how to HEAL!! The Bible is true and clear that satan is a LIAR! He is always trying to steal, kill and destroy life. When a child is molested, their innocence is stolen and they are a victim of other's sins (satan's work). The child becomes a teen and feels used, unworthy, unloved, unprotected, defiled, dirty because of what was done to them. These are NOT facts, they are feelings! If they continue to make decision based on these feelings, they will begin having sex at a young age because they do not feel worthy of respect from men. They also do not trust men. They feel betrayed. These are facts that I have heard and read many times. You may or may not feel exactly like this. It would take a long time for me to type all of the different feelings. However, I encourage you to start typing what you went through, experienced and maybe still hurting from. It begins the healing process. You can do so under a pretend name to protect your privacy. I will try to write daily as I have LOTS to get out of my heart to help others heal. SO, please encourage me to write by posting replies and questions and visit our website www.tearstotreasures.com Praying for you!!!!

January 10, 2010

A new year, a NEW beginning! I am so excited to finally start a healing group for women and men who have experienced abortion(s). I need as many prayer partners as possible as we begin this journey to healing. Please join me in the adventure of a lifetime. God truly turns tears to treasures! I know because He did this for me from 1995-1999. I am a women set free indeed from the bondage of a past abortion that I was ashamed of and hide for so many years dip down in the darkness of my heart (the pit). Satan tormented me day and night as long as I kept it "secret". I finally allowed God to use His word to heal my heart from the pain and shame that I hid for so many years. In 1999, God clearly let me know that He wanted me to "tell everyone what He did for me because He wants to heal them". I had know idea how I was going to do this. But I was not going to tell Him "No" after ALL He had just done in my life and heart in the past 4 years. Please join me tomorrow as I continue sharing my story of God turning my tears to treasures!!! Living Hope, Michelle